Strength Of Mind – Justin Paperny
SUMMARY
On today’s episode, Justin Paperny, who was once in prison for making bad decisions, is going to share his experience and tell us how he was able to build strength of mind and persevere through the tough days. He made himself whole again, despite all the odds being against him.
According to Justin, we need to embrace perspective and rejections, which will get us closer to our goals.
KEY TAKEAWAYS
Misperceptions get in the way of progress.We have to debunk many perceptions about people who’ve been to prison or those who’ve made bad decisions.
If you want to rebuild, and be the best in the world at what you do, look at failure as one step closer to success.
Embrace failures.
If you don’t take that one step, you’ll never get started.
If you understand your tendencies, you’ll be better positioned to overcome any bad decision and persevere through some tough days.
To do anything great, it requires deliberate daily practice.
TRANSCRIPTION: STRENGTH OF MIND – JUSTIN PAPERNY
Luis Congdon
Hey, Thriving Launchers, on today’s episode, we’re going to be talking about building strength of mind, how do you cultivate the strength of mind of a former inmate and overcome any challenge in your life, all that and more on today’s episode.
Kamala Chambers
Today, we are here with Justin Paperny to talk about developing strength of mind.
He was a successful stock broker who ended up going to prison from some bad decisions. He wrote a book about it. He’s been featured on ABC News, NBC News, and a bunch of other places.
We’re excited to have him here today talking with us about strength of mind.
Luis Congdon
All right, Thriving launchers, how do you create strength of mind when all the odds are against you? We’ve brought on an incredible guest to do that.
Justin, are you ready to launch?
Justin Paperny
I’m ready.
Luis Congdon
Okay.
Justin, you teach people a lot of stuff about overcoming trials, and tribulations by having strength of mind.
Some of the hardest experiences people can have are going to prison. Having prison put all sorts of stuff on your documents. It makes it hard to get jobs, and just to persevere.
I’m curious. How do we take those lessons that you’re teaching prisoners or people that have had some of the most difficult experiences in life? How do we apply some of those same lessons? How does that create strength of mind?
Somebody like you, you overcome. You’ve found your way and you were able to develop a strong strength of mind.
How do we apply some of those same lessons of perseverance in our own lives even if we’ve never been to prison because we all have our own shackles?
Avoid Clichés To Create Strength Of Mind
Justin Paperny
One thing we have to do to develop strength of mind is avoid clichés.
I’m not a fan of “It will get better” “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” It can still be very tough along the way so we have to avoid clichés, buzz words, and platitude.
Develop Strength Of Mind – Embrace Perspective
Justin Paperny
Recognize that to overcome and get whole again requires a whole lot of hard work, and discipline. That’s something I and a number of the people with whom I work embrace.
We also have to embrace perspective. I’m not just missing what I went through or what a number of very good people go through, but relative to human nature and history, our struggle is relative or minor compared to people like Victor Frankl, who summarily watched his family get executed in a concentration camp and Sir Nelson Mandela who is wrongly imprisoned.
I think if we can embrace perspective, it will help us get through some very down days, and also recognizing we don’t need to get everyone back into our corner.
Find People Who Can See You For All You Can Do To Have Strength Of Mind
Justin Paperny
Certainly, as a result of my conviction or any conviction, there are people that will discount us as felons, criminals, or crooks. It can be very hard on our psyche and self-esteem knowing that others think of us in such a way.
To get whole or to persevere, we have to recognize that there are those who will see us for all we can do and for the new record we are creating.
To Create Strength Of Mind, Juxtapose Conduct Before And Post Prison
Justin Paperny
I think the goal at the end of our life is to juxtapose, and put our conduct before prison, together with conduct post prison, and put them side by side. Most people will say, “You’ve lived a pretty damn good productive life.” It requires forward thinking and assessing decisions you made that will help you one to twenty years from now.
Embrace perspective but also recognizing you’re not going to win over everybody back, and you know what? That’s okay.
Be Authentic To Develop Strength Of Mind
Justin Paperny
Be authentic, be yourself, and create a new record not through happy talk, but through discipline and principle work.
Kamala Chambers
One thing I love about what you said is you will find people that can see you for all that you could be, and that is important in finding success in life because being around people that can see us for our greatest potential.
Do you have any recommendations on how to reach out and find those people or recognize that we’re around those kinds of people who can see us for all we can be?
Misperceptions Not Creating Strength Of Mind
Justin Paperny
What we have is debunk many of the misperceptions that exist with people who’ve been to prison or just generally people who have made bad decisions.
Most people who listen to this will never have gone to prison but they have may have made some bad decisions they’re working to overcome.
Avoid Self-Fulfilling Prophecies To Have Strength Of Mind
Justin Paperny
For example, “I’m not going to reach out to this person because of what I did. They’re not even going to bother to respond.”
It’s almost like a self-fulfilling prophecy. They convince themselves something is going to happen so they don’t try.
Create Strength Of Mind – Reach Out To Others
Justin Paperny
What you have to do is just reach out. You have to cast lines. You have to write note. You have to send emails. Recognize that maybe 90% won’t respond, 99% will respond.
I embrace the mantra that if you grow your network, it’s like growing your net worth, and if you cultivate the relationship not in an opportunistic fashion.
People frequently reach out to me, they want something, it’s all about them, how can I help them, and that’s not authentic. It doesn’t imbue me to want to help.
Nurture Relationships For Strength Of Mind
Justin Paperny
I like to form relationships. I have mentors. I’m a mentor. You have to reach out the right way. You have to nurture relationships knowing it may not pay off for years, it may never pay off. The motives have to be sound rather than “Hey, I just got out of jail. Can you hire me?” That is an inspiration but it doesn’t work.
To your question, it’s got to be cultivated and you have to embrace failure. It’s easier said than done.
Embrace Failures To Have Strength Of Mind
Justin Paperny
I come from a cold calling background as a stockbroker. I couldn’t walk when I got out of prison handing my book to defense attorneys. I got thrown out of offices. It was humbling and a little embarrassing. But, I have nothing left to lose.
Strength OF Mind Gets You Closer To Success
Luis Congdon
Thriving Launchers, one of the things we’ve done on the show is we’ve had a variety of people who have been in prison from Mike Pisciotta, Michael Santos, and yourself Justin.
One of the things I always love about having you guys on the show, not to try to put you in some category, but you have a certain experience all of you share.
Learn How To Have Great Grassroots And Strength Of Mind
Luis Congdon
One of the things I love about all of you who have gone to prison and have made something of yourselves despite the odds against you is you’re teaching people great grassroots.
The fruits of a tree are based on the roots and the ground it’s nourished by. It’s something all of you have taught me repeatedly, and these reminders are incredible, and that’s why I love doing the show.
Be With Successful People To Have Strength Of Mind
Luis Congdon
The people that have been in prison and have overcome that stigma or that experience, they all say, “Surround yourself with people that are having success. Change your surroundings if you have to.”
Mike Pisciotta, one of our guests, was imprisoned for 10 years. He told me he had to move states so he could get away from every single person and recreate himself. That is not something that is like a prison thing. It’s a thing that’s common to everybody.
Developing Strength Of Mind Through Changing Environment
Luis Congdon
If we want to have success, we need to change our environment. We need to change the people we’re influenced by.
One of the great teachers I’ve been influenced by, Yogananda, said, “Environment is stronger than will.” and often times is, but of course, we can be stronger.
Victor Frankl wrote a great book on how to have stronger will than your environment but that’s not the case for everybody. We can become a lot stronger and utilize our environment as something to support the desire or change we want.
I just want to thank you for that reminder because it’s something I’m thinking a lot about today.
Right now, in my life, I’m making some shifts, which means I’m shifting some of the people and some of the ways I spend my time.
Justin Paperny
You’re welcome.
Understand Your Tendencies To Have Strength Of Mind
Justin Paperny
Last point I’ll make is like you said, the environment, and also understanding your tendencies.
Understanding people that could be looking to exploit you or take advantage of you. Are you a pleaser? Are you arrogant? Are you tough to reason with?
Justin Paperny
I spend a lot of time on the inside understanding the tendencies that’s separating me from my friends and family.
Kamala Chambers
Yeah. Such amazing lessons you’re bringing forward.
What is one of the most important things you would recommend people take away from this interview today?
What Strength Of Mind And Daily Practice Can Do
Justin Paperny
It will not happen all in one day. It has to be daily and deliberately.
In my second book Ethics in Motion, I drawn Aristotle, and of cultivating character, and cultivating habit. It’s through daily exercises.
I was a baseball player in college. Well, I wasn’t a great a baseball player because I woke up one day and said “I’m going to play baseball.” I’ve worked at it every single day. I never read a book on how to feel the ground ball. I practice a little bit every day.
Have Strength Of Mind And Hold Yourself Accountable
Justin Paperny
To do anything well, you have to hold yourself accountable, you have to create a new record, and you have to work on it each and every day.
In time, small little pieces add up to huge accomplishments.
Lastly, had you told me when I went to prison, I was going to write a book, and a blog, and getting in shape. Others said “You’re insane, you’re nuts.”
Practicing Slowly, Daily, And Deliberately To Develop Strength Of Mind
Justin Paperny
I did a little bit each and every day and I became stronger, better, and more prepared to overcome the obstacles that awaited me. It’s slowly, daily, deliberately.
Kamala Chambers
It’s beautiful and practical.
Thank you so much for gifting us all with that.
Before we close, is there any last gem or nugget you want to leave the Thriving Launchers with?
Embrace Rejection To Build Strength Of Mind
Justin Paperny
We’re humans. We make bad decisions every now and again, and I believe we can overcome that with a princip plan, and maintain that dignity in the process and embrace rejection knowing it does get closer to your clearly defined goals.
In fact, as I was traversing the system, I used to say “How much more bad news can I take?” and then go work, run, and ride, and power through it.
In the past, it would get me down. I wouldn’t get out of bed. I would drink and smoke. I could hardly function.
Thriving On Bad News Helps To Have Strength Of Mind
Justin Paperny
Then, I learned to thrive on bad news recognizing that perspective helped, and leaders throughout history like Michael Santos, who is mentor of mine overcome and endured worst, and that sense of perspective helped me on days I didn’t want to get out of bed.
But others had done it through harder circumstances, and I figured if they could do it, so could I.
Luis Congdon
That’s fantastic. I love what you were sharing there.
Michael Santos has also been on Thriving Launch. He’s a great friend of mine, gave me a testimonial. I met the guy as he was coming out of prison and helped him with his podcast, which you guys can check out.
Here’s one of the key things I’m walking away with from today’s episode. Guys, you know I always like to wrap up with some closing thoughts, and something that is close, near, and dear for me is the practice of going to the gym.
Practice Strength Of Mind By Going To The Gym
Luis Congdon
For me, the gym time or that time I’m working out is like the time to be the incredible hulk to think about the things that are coming at me, and just going, “I’m stronger than that. That stuff can’t take me down.”
We have a punching bag there at the gym, and I hit the bag. I lift the weights and I’m practicing that mental strength that nothing is going to take me down, and I’m stronger than the weights and anything that can come at me, and I just get that energy pumping through my body. I change my whole physiology and create this level of strength.
Improve Strength Of Mind By Actively Changing Yourself And The Environment
Luis Congdon
The reason why I’m suggesting that to you guys is because a lot of times, one of the guests we had Kathlyn Hendricks came on our show. She’s a great mentor of mine and she said “Sitting is the new cancer.”
I believe a lot of us are sitting around hoping for things to change, but we need to get active, and one of the ways we can actively change ourselves and change our environment is by going to the gym or going to some place that allows us to workout mentally and physically.
Justin, it’s been a real honor to have you on the show. Thriving Launchers, we’ll see you on the next episode and keep thriving you all.
