Self-Empowerment – Ryan Michler
MUST HAVE RESOURCES
SUMMARY
Ryan Michler, from Order of Man and hit podcast host, shows us how we can find our voice, lift others up and discover self-empowerment.
When we know what we stand for and start sharing it, then we live a more fulfilled life.
KEY TAKEAWAYS
Our definition of success is based on what we’ve seen in our culture, media, and people we’ve looked up into.
One of the major traps people fall into is they try to please everyone.
There’s no way you can sustain the effort of trying to please everyone for any sustained period.
Be true to yourself so you can have the energy, the drive, passion, self-empowerment, and motivation to sustain whatever activity you want to maintain.
To shape your voice and self-empowerment:
- Don’t care what other people think of you. Stand for your beliefs.
- Know that you don’t need to win everybody over.
When people respond negatively to what you’re saying, look at it as a badge of honor.
When you are hiding and not sharing what’s on your mind, you end up getting railroaded your entire life.
It’s crucial to understand that you’ve got to take care of yourself.
Test the edges of how much you’re willing to share or how much you’re ready to be full on you in front of the world.
One of Winston Churchill’s quotes says ‘You have enemies? Good. That means you stood up for something sometime in your life.’
Sharing personal stories of failures and shortcomings takes confidence and self-empowerment.
If you disagree with certain things that you’re hearing, feel free to be outspoken about it.
Knowing what you stand for and sharing it will strengthen the relationship that you have with your existing following.
Many people out there have great ideas, but they lack action.
If you want to show up not only for yourself and live fulfilled in your life, then you want to be a lighthouse for other people.
Once we share our message with the world, we’re more fulfilled and happier.
TRANSCRIPTION: SELF-EMPOWERMENT – RYAN MICHLER
Luis Congdon
If you’d like to have stronger, have more self-empowerment, a more confident voice, be someone who stands for something, and you want to find your voice, today’s episode is going to help you as we invite Ryan Michler to help us find our voice and self-empowerment.
Today’s guest is Ryan Michler from Order of Man. He runs a hit podcast show that’s doing very well. He also runs a Facebook group that has nearly 12,000 members.
Ryan Michler is someone who’s going to teach about using our voice to find self-empowerment and others around us.
All right. Welcome to the show. Ryan, are you ready to launch and talk about self-empowerment?
Ryan Michler
I am ready and feeling self-empowerment.
Luis Congdon
It’s great to have you here today.
One of the reasons why I wanted to get you on the show is; first, you’re a podcaster. You and I have been around each other for a while now. You and I got to know each other at the blossoming stages of us and what we’ve become today.
Ryan Michler
It was a long time ago, right?
Luis Congdon
Right.
It’s been quite a process because we both have had many learning curves. Now, we have something that’s more stable. We have profitable businesses, communities.
One of the things that I wanted to bring you on the show today is here’s something that you do. You do it stronger than most people do so in their business and personal life is you’re kind of adamant about your beliefs and being outspoken about it, and being pretty clear about who you are. You do it tactfully and respectfully.
Self-Empowerment And Not People Pleasing
Luis Congdon
But nonetheless, you’re pretty adamant about, “This is who Ryan is,” “This is what I stand for.” That’s something that not only has resonated with a lot of people. It’s helped you build a thriving community, a successful podcast, and has made you someone that people look up.
Ryan Michler
I appreciate that.
I think it’s important. I believe it is right that we be authentic to ourselves and practice self-empowerment.
Here’s the major trap that I think a lot of people fall into is trying to please everyone. I used to be this guy. I used to be a guy that wanted to make sure people were happy. I would bend over backward to accommodate everything that they wanted, and gradually over time, I learned that there is no way that you can sustain that sort of effort for any sustained period.
People want to be nice. They want to be accommodating, and as much as I would like to do that, I also have to be true to myself so that I can have the energy, the drive, passion, and the motivation to sustain whatever activity I want to continue.
Find a way to speak your truth and share your message regardless of how people might feel about it.
Kamala Chambers
I agree with that and one of the things that I find people respond most to, at least in my audience, is vulnerability and realness.
It’s being as authentic and have as much self-empowerment as possible and not just throwing everything out there or being overly emotional or anything like that but just being real with people. I think that’s something that people are hungry for and want.
Self-Empowerment When People Disagree With You
Kamala Chambers
Let me ask you about how you shape your voice and self-empowerment, how you recommend other people shape their voice if they don’t even really understand what that means to be real.
Ryan Michler
Yeah.
Isn’t that such a difficult thing? It’s funny that it would be even hard to understand. Do you have to practice authenticity and self-empowerment? What does self-empowerment even mean?
I think the place that most people get hung-up, especially on social media because it’s very easy for somebody to come back and blast you for you anything that you might say that is in disagreement with what they might believe or say about themselves or their lives. I think that’s the first step.
You need to develop the skin that says, “I don’t care necessarily what other people think of me. I don’t care their beliefs are. This is my belief. This is my truth. This is what I’m going to share.”
Also, have the thought and the notion that I don’t need to win everybody over. I think that’s what a lot of entrepreneurs do when they get started, is they think of themselves “I’ve got to cast this net as wide and as broad as I possibly can, to make this a thriving business for myself.”
In an all reality, if you think about the over 7 billion people on the planet, that number is just staggering. It’s high. It’s tough for us even to understand what 7 billion is, and how much that is.
You don’t need 7 billion people. You need like a thousand people, and there’s a thousand. There is 10,000. There is 100,000. There are 10 million people out there that think the same way that you do.
Self-Empowerment When You’ve Got Haters
Ryan Michler
If you can be the rallying cry for people that maybe aren’t willing to share that self-empowerment voice or have that thick skin, those people are going to follow you.
Kamala Chambers
One thing that I think stops people in their tracks is the bad press that you could get.
Ryan Michler
Yeah.
Kamala Chambers
There are the haters and the trolls.
Luis, I know that this something that you struggled with, right? Luis is a vulnerable guy. All of you know, and he puts out a lot of stuff, and sometimes, it throws people the wrong way.
What do you do to navigate trolls and haters when they do come?
Ryan Michler
I think a lot of this has to do with personality as well. I believe that it can be developed, and you can grow a thicker skin than maybe you have right now, but a lot of it has to do with personality.
My wife will say to me, “Who are you going to piss off today?” And I’m like, “What do you mean?” And she’s like, “Well, you haven’t pissed anybody off on Facebook for a couple of days.” Almost like I like doing it, and I don’t say things or do things to make people upset. If that’s what happens, that’s what happens. I think it is your personality. Like I like to poke and push the like buttons. I’ve always been that way a little bit. That’s number one.
Outside of that, I almost look at negativity and people responding negatively to what it is I’m saying or sharing or how I look, what I say, how I say it as a badge of honor. I look at that and say “This is a success because how many people out there have something to share but they’re hiding.” They’re hiding in their house and behind their keyboards.
Self-Empowerment And Happiness
Ryan Michler
Some people are hiding and not sharing what’s on their mind. Then, they end up getting railroaded their entire life. They can’t live happily, fulfilled, and content because they’re so afraid of what other people might think of what they believe.
It’s crucial to understand that you’ve got to take care of yourself. You’ve got to be happy. You’ve got to share your message and truth.
Ryan Michler
You could be reading from the Bible, and people are going to find something to disagree with you. But it’s not that big of a deal.
Now, I’ve got a couple of tactical tips I can share with you that help limits some of that stuff or even reduce some of that stuff but that’s higher level view for me in how I see hate and negativity that comes my way.
Luis Congdon
One of the things growing up that my dad would say a lot me is let people know who you are, and be somebody who stands for something. If they don’t like it, at least they know that they can trust you, at least they know who you are, and there’s no beating around the bush about it.
In high school, I was very different than a lot of the kids. I had different perspectives on life. I feel like an old soul in some ways. I just had very different views. So when my friends were busy talking about girls this way and that way, I’m what I’m interested in that. I want to have a girlfriend. I want to fall in love.
Pushing Your Edges Of Self-Empowerment
Luis Congdon
For a lot of guys in their teenage years, that’s funny to them or pick on somebody about that, and I was all right. I was like, “It’s okay. I’m going to be an example” or, “I’m just going to stand for something, and that’s okay if that’s what they stand for.” We don’t have to agree to get along.
The other thing too that has been a significant maturity process for me, especially in business and building a tribe, and becoming more well-known is that having people disagree with you is a good thing. It means that you’re standing for something, having people not like you is okay. What is that thing? If you try to make everybody like you, you’ll be liked by nobody.
Ryan Michler
Right.
Luis Congdon
That’s something I see with you Ryan. You are pretty clear about who you are, and in business, a lot of us can be nervous about that.
Kamala has been somebody who’s pushed me to test the edges of how much I’m willing to share or how much I’m ready to be full on me in front of the world whether it’s just out and about on the streets or online with social media.
The thing about social media is you can write a post in 10 – 15 minutes, and it goes out to thousands and thousands of people, and they can all have an opinion.
Ryan Michler
Right.
Luis Congdon
Whereas, if I walk out the street and I’m dressed like a clown, maybe nobody will see it or maybe only a few people and they’re not going to come and talk to me. They’re going to keep it in their heads. So there’s a certain kind of braveness and courage that people tend to have online that’s very different than they would in real life.
Taking Action Through Self-Empowerment
Ryan Michler
Yeah. You bring up a couple of good points. There’s one of my favorite quotes by Winston Churchill. He says, “You have enemies? Good. That means you stood up for something sometime in your life.” And, I’ve used that quote as an opportunity for me to continue to speak what is my truth and even push the boundaries. You said it perfectly. You said to test the edges, and you also talked about maturity.
I think a lot of the way that I share my message and the way that you are both sharing your message stems from a position of confidence and self-empowerment. It’s tough to put yourself out there. It’s tough to share raw and personal stories, things that you failed in the past, and some missteps or shortcomings that you have but, you can do it, and it only comes through confidence and self-empowerment.
A lot of people will say “Well, how do I gain confidence and self-empowerment?” The only way to gain confidence and self-empowerment is through action that you have to do.
If you can’t put forth the effort and you can’t display a little bit of courage, then you’re never going to build the confidence and self-empowerment required to speak what’s on your mind or start a new business, or whatever it is that you’re trying to accomplish in life.
At some point, you just got to go and try it, and you build from there. You continue to test those edges like you mentioned.
Luis Congdon
One of the things I’ve seen with you is from the beginning where you’re a little bit more meek, to know, where your wife is saying things like “Who are you going to upset today?” It’s quite a progression.
Repelling People And Self-Empowerment
Luis Congdon
One of the things that we talk about in marketing is repulsion marketing, where you’re repelling certain people and inviting other people. That can create an unyielding following.
Donald Trump, for example, is somebody who’s a very influential marketer in that sense. He is very clear about who he’s pushing away, and who he’s inviting in.
I’m not saying be Donald, or be Ryan, or be anybody. Be you. Be who you are and stand for what you want to stand. If you disagree with certain things that you’re hearing, feel free to be outspoken about it. If you agree with certain things or you have certain outlooks that are different, feel free to be outspoken about it. Let the world know that you stand for that perspective, or belief system, or truth.
Have you noticed any correlation between your business, your podcast, your Facebook group, your email list? Has there been any correlation between fandom and doing that, or has it decrease?
Because one of the things a lot of people are scared of is “If I say that stuff then I’m going to lose some people, then I won’t be quite as popular.” A lot of times, what a lot of repulsion marketer says is that it will make you more popular.
I’m not saying try to be repulsive on purpose. I’m saying that there are some people that you will naturally repel and that’s completely okay.
I’m asking you right now Ryan. Have you noticed a correlation between fandom and being this full on Ryan?
Ryan Michler
I think it’s important that you have to know what you stand for and what you don’t, and you have to be willing to share it.
Fear Of Losing And Self-Empowerment
Ryan Michler
You’re right. There’s no doubt that if I say something that I have a conviction about, I will lose somebody. Somebody’s bound to drop off because they don’t agree with what I said or how I said it.
For every five people that you might lose for speaking out, you gain a hundred who believe in you.
Ryan Michler
They’re the ones who listen to what I have to say and believe the same way. Not only that, but it also strengthens the relationship that you have with your existing following who appreciate who you are and how you’re showing up.
For example, I talk a lot about the definition of a man, and I never use the term “Real men.” I don’t like that term. To me, the definition of a man is somebody who is a protector, a provider, and a presider. So a man who protects himself and his loved ones, he provides for those he cares about including himself, and he leads in his community, his business, his family, and all the areas that he’s called to lead, is what a man does.
I’m not above saying that a male who does not fulfill those responsibilities is not living true to the way that he was meant to live. Now, that’s going to tune some people out. Who’s going to tune out? It’s going to tune the ones out who aren’t protectors, who aren’t providers, and who aren’t leaders. That’s okay. I’m not interested in talking with them anyways.
Taking Action And Gaining Self-Empowerment
Ryan Michler
I’m talking with the guys who want to be those things, and so, I say the things that I say not to gain the system, but because that’s what I believe and that’s who I resonate with, and want to talk with.
Kamala Chambers
Love it.
Before we close out today, I’d love to hear anything that you want to make sure the Thriving Launchers walk away with.
Ryan Michler
Every time I have the opportunity to talk about what you’re saying or what are some closing thoughts, I always talk about action.
I think there are many people out there with great ideas, great ideas to start a business, great ideas to improve an existing business. What I see more often than not is not a lack of ideas but a lack of action.
I think we hit on briefly the idea and the concept of fear. What are people going to think of me? What are they going to say? Who am I going to lose? Including existing family members and close friends that you may have right now, some of that may be alienated, and some of those relationships may go away. I get that. It’s scary.
If you truly want to show up not only for yourself and live fulfilled in your life, then you want to be a lighthouse for other people, and shine your truth so you can stand tall for other people who may not have a voice yet, and don’t feel self-empowerment, but need what you have to say.
Your Message And Self-Empowerment
Ryan Michler
Then, at some point, you’re going to have to overcome that fear and take action and get to it. That would be the message I would share.
Overcome your fear and take action. Shine your truth, so you can stand tall for others who may not have a voice yet but need what you have to say.
Luis Congdon
That’s something that I love about you, and a lot of people love about your work. You call people into leadership. You call people to play big, to be bigger than they currently to come forward and be action takers in their life and not sit idly
That’s a masculine trait. It goes very strongly. I’m not saying women don’t execute also.
Ryan Michler
Sure.
Luis Congdon
I’m just saying just the wording and all of that about being an action taker, be a leader in your community and be a provider all fits into a masculine paradigm. Thank you for talking with us about self-empowerment You’re doing an incredible job leading people through that and calling people.
Everybody has a message. We all have a mission. We’re all here for something, and once we ground ourselves in that and decide to take action and share that with the world, we’re going to be more fulfilled and happier.
Everybody has some significant role, and that’s something that I’ve watched you step into with yourself, and now, I see you call a lot more people to do that with themselves.
It’s been a real honor to have you here on the show Ryan. Thank you so much for joining us on Thriving Launch.
Luis Congdon
Today’s guest was a millionaire by the time he was 27 years old. He’s a father. He’s been invited to launch by the likes of Jack Dorsey. He’s ran multiple, multiple successful businesses and yet at the crux of who Dale Partridge is, is someone who seeks to find balance-the key to success, and tries to live a moral and healthy life where it’s not just business and it’s not just work but it’s a life based on balance, family, and strong morals.
Today, we bring you Dale Partridge to talk about the key to success, morality, and balance.
Ryan Michler
Awesome. I appreciate it. Love talking about self-empowerment Thanks for your work and the way that you guys show up as well. Appreciate what you’re both doing.
MUST HAVE RESOURCES
