Overcoming Rejection
SUMMARY
In this Monday episode, we’re going to talk about handling rejection and how we can grow from it. Rejection is often seen as a downfall, but in reality, it serves a much deeper purpose.
We’re going to share the experiences we’ve had when we were rejected and how we were able to overcome those and still become winners despite being rejected.
KEY TAKEAWAYS
There’s a lot of growth that can happen with rejection.
Rejections are opportunities to strengthen your determination and be more committed to the outcome you wanted.
One possible reason for rejection is not spending enough time doing what you have to do.
Rejection can be a huge fear that holds us back from getting what we want.
A ‘no’ is good because at least, you’re getting a response.
A powerful tool you can use when handling an objection is to have your mind on the goal, and you know what you want.
Having rejection is not about you not being enough or not having what it takes. You should always keep that in mind.
If you get rejected, you are still a winner because you tried.
According to Don Miguel Ruiz, not taking things personally is essential for success.
Take rejection as a gift and lesson instead of taking it personally.
TRANSCRIPTION: OVERCOMING REJECTION
Luis Congdon
Hey there, Thriving Launchers.
Today, let’s talk about overcoming rejection, how to overcome ‘Nos,’ failures, and let downs so that you can have breakthroughs, and what are the mindsets Kamala and I have been using and applying so those upsets and breakdowns become wins.
Hey, what’s up, Thriving Launchers?
Luis and Kamala here for our Monday episode, and we want to talk to you about overcoming rejection.
Overcoming Rejection Is Hard
Kamala, I got to tell you. This has been a hard past two or three weeks for me. I’ve got a lot of rejections happened. I had a coach do a break up with me where after weeks and weeks of working together, he felt like we weren’t a fit anymore and we parted ways.
It’s just been a heavy few weeks of overcoming rejection.
Kamala Chambers
Yeah, rejection is hard. It’s a hard one.
I have to say that you put yourself out there a lot more than I do in our business, and I think you deal with it pretty well. I have seen you get rejected hard.
I have to say I think you’re dealing with it pretty well.
Luis Congdon
Well, I’m ready to dive in and tell you guys a little bit about that because Kamala is right. I put myself out there a lot, and there’s some growth.
Growth With Overcoming Rejection
I wanted to tell you guys about the success of that rejection.
Let me just back up for a moment and share with you that for the past several months, I’ve been trying to become a writer for places like Inc. magazine, Entrepreneur magazine, Success magazine, and mindbodygreen. There are many different places.
Overcoming Rejection Of Major Publications
Some of the places I’ve become a writer for like mindbodygreen, but then I wrote a couple more articles, and they rejected them. I wrote for Inc. magazine on three different occasions, and they rejected all three applications, and it takes hours to do this.
Then, I found Addicted 2 Success, which is another major publication, and I wrote three different times. Each time, they rejected my writing, and on the third time, they said, “We like your writing. This is good. It’s just not original enough.”
Takeaway From Overcoming Rejection
Through that process, Kamala, I feel like there’s a nugget to be taken out of that rejection or out of those no’s. The biggest nugget I got out of it was that I needed to spend more time with my editing and writing and that the rejections were opportunities to strengthen my resolve and to become even more committed to the outcome I wanted.
Kamala Chambers
That’s great.
I always encourage you to edit your writing more so I love that you got rejected because here you are strengthening your determination.
You’re a brilliant writer. I just know you don’t like editing, but we have an editor for that so I love that we could get these gifts and these ways of moving beyond rejection.
Overcoming Rejection And Not Feeling Included
I think the way rejection manifests for me is if I don’t feel included, I feel rejected. That comes from being like the runt of a pack of wolves where I had three older brothers and tons of older male cousins, and my dad raised me. I was always feeling rejected as a kid not included in things.
What I’ve learned from that experience is just learning how to include myself; to put myself out there to not wait for permission to be asked into a situation, but step into and say “Here I am.” That’s scary too, but it’s not as scary as not being included.
Overcoming Rejection By Not Relying Too Much On What Other People Say
Luis Congdon
One of the things I’ve personally gone through this week in regards to overcoming rejection is realizing that I was relying too much on the feedback of other people. To put that in context the first few rejections I got were like five or seven. That’s the first few to give you an idea of how many times I was rejected by different publications and different places that I’ve been trying to write for. Seven is like the first few of more rejections.
One of the things I started to do is I would write some drafts.
Overcoming Rejection And Knowing The Reason Of Being Rejected
Because I didn’t want to experience this sensation of “I’m not good enough” or “This isn’t working.” I started handing stuff off to my editor way too soon. I started giving things off that were incredibly incomplete. They were basically like free flow writings where I would just jot down as much about an idea, but I wouldn’t somehow make it cohesive. I wouldn’t sit and sculpt and mold it because I was worried that I was going to spend all this time and get turned down anyway.
And so, I’d hand it to my editor.
These past two weeks, I decided that maybe I was getting the rejections because one, my editor just doesn’t know what I’m trying to say to the same degree that I do. And two, maybe my writing wasn’t getting good enough because I wasn’t spending enough time sculpting it, molding it, massaging it out, and getting in touch with myself as a writer.
Kamala Chambers
That’s good. I love hearing that.
Getting Stronger Overcoming Rejection
That’s the process you went through. We get to become stronger. We get to put more effort into it.
You’ve been a tremendous model for me, Luis, showing me that a no is good because at least, you’re getting a response. You get incredible guests on our show. People don’t turn you down as they used to when you had a smaller show, but the way you put yourself out there is inspiring to me, and I love how you keep showing up with that.
Overcoming Rejection On Dating
I want to ask you a little bit about that because I think you’re stronger than me. You have developed more than I do. Like when we were first dating, and you came on strong.
Luis Congdon
Thriving Launchers, you guys know this. Kamala likes to remind me of how strong I came on.
Kamala Chambers
No, I think it applies because you came on strong and what about the fear of rejection? How do you handle that?
Luis Congdon
That’s an incredible question, and it applies to how I was overcoming rejection when it came to inviting guests on my show. I’ve had guests that I chased around for a year or two before they said ‘Yes’ to come on my show.
Going after Kamala, initially, she wasn’t interested. She wasn’t ready yet.
Writing for major publications, I probably got about 13-14 rejections notices before somebody said “Yes.” The first time someone said “Yes,” they came back and said, “You know what? Never mind,” and turned me down.
Overcoming Rejection By Having Your Mind On The Goal
That rejection can hurt but one of the tools I found that is powerful is you have your mind on the goal, and you know what you want. Then, you just keep pushing through it.
You get that rejection and say, “All right, what is it I want?” “Right, I want to get into some paid publications. Right, I want to write for some great places where there are a lot of readers, and I can impact lives.”
I get a rejection. “Okay. What is this information giving me as it relates to my goal?” Not what is this information giving me as it relates to me not being good enough or me not having what it takes or any of that.
Overcoming Rejection And Not Taking Things Personally
I get a rejection in an email saying, “No, thank you. We don’t like your article.” That information doesn’t mean anything personal about me. All it says is my article wasn’t a fit so then, that piece of information in my mind turns into, “What do I need to do so that I write an article that they want?”
Then, that leads to me spending more time on that publication, reading the articles other people have written. I need to contact people I know that have written for those publications and ask them for any tips.
Maybe I need to email a different person. Maybe I need to spend more time writing my article, and then sending it to an editor. Maybe I need to stop relying on my editor so much and spend more time myself crafting what I want, asking for less feedback, and that’s all information that I’ve used.
Overcoming Rejection On Wrestling
The biggest lesson I was gifted with when I did wrestling, which in Seattle, Washington, wrestling teams are terrible, and we wrestle other teams that are fantastic. This information is important to you because the first year I fought, I was horrible. I did terribly.
The second year, I realized if I use me losing a wrestling match as symbolic of me not being good at this sport or me being a loser, then no matter what I do, I will stay stuck as a loser and I will remain confined to the results of being a loser.
Overcoming Rejection And Finding A Way To Be A Winner
What if I use this information to make myself a winner? What if I always found a way to be a winner regardless if I win or lose?
What I did in wrestling is I said, “Every single time I wrestle, as long as I learned something from the match, I’m a winner.” It’s the same thing with rejection.
If I get rejected, I’m a winner because I’m trying. If I get rejected, and I get an email saying “No, thank you,” then, I got their attention, which means I got farther than other people who just think about it or who write and they don’t even respond to them.
Overcoming Rejection And Understanding What It Takes To Get A Yes
When people say “No, thank you,” it means that now, I have a piece of information that they didn’t like, and now I’m a winner because I’m much closer to learning and understanding what it takes to get a Yes.
Kamala Chambers
Wow. That’s powerful, Luis.
Thriving Launchers, I want to say what I’m taking away from this conversation today talking about overcoming rejection is a reminder not to take things personally.
Overcoming Rejection As A Gift
This is from the book The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz who we’ve had on the show. He talks about how not taking things personally is essential for our success. I think that’s a big part of what you’re talking about here, Luis, is you’re taking it as a gift and a lesson, probably an inexpensive one instead of taking it personally.
Thank you so much for having this conversation with us Thriving Launchers, and keep thriving.
