Change The Way You Think – David Essel
SUMMARY
On this episode with David Essel, the new leader of the positive thinking movement, he talks about the myth of positive thinking.
According to him, your positive thoughts only account for 20% of your success, and the remaining 80% comes from your hard work.
KEY TAKEAWAYS
If you’re an entrepreneur, you should regularly be dropping your old beliefs and picking up new ones.If you’re not changing as an entrepreneur on a regular basis, you’re behind the eight-ball.
You can create an unbelievably powerful life, but unless it’s a miracle, your positive thoughts, visualizations, and affirmations will only account for 20% of your success.
If you haven’t achieved what you want with your body, your money, your love life, your career, your business, your spiritual path, by now on your own, you never will.
If it’s a big goal, don’t rely on you. Get an accountability partner.
If it’s not comfortable, that’s a good sign that you’re on the right path.
Things that don’t feel comfortable are good for us and our growth.
TRANSCRIPTION: CHANGE THE WAY YOU THINK – DAVID ESSEL
Kamala Chambers
On this episode, we’re going to be talking about what’s missing from the power of positive thinking and achieving success when you change the way you think
Today, we are here with the man whom Jenny McCarthy calls the new leader of the positive thinking movement, David Essel.
He is a best-selling author, a radio host, a master coach, and an inspirational speaker, and we’re thrilled to have him here.
Luis Congdon
All right, Thriving launchers, we’re here with David Essel. We’re excited to have you here on the show.
David, are you ready to launch?
David Essel
Luis, Kamala, I am more than ready! I’ve been waiting for you guys! I’ve been waiting ever since this was appointed, and we’re going to kick butt today.
Luis Congdon
One of the things I love about your work is it synchronizes with something I’m working on currently with one of my coaches which are about how to change the way you think, and I love it.
It’s funny because for some reason I looked up here, which typically, I stare right at my microphone. I looked up, and I saw this book, The Magic of Thinking Big. That’s a very well-known book.
You have a book that came out not that long ago talking about the myth of positive thinking and how important it is to change the way you think.
I’m curious. Your previous work was all about positive thinking and the secret comes out. You’ve got people like Shakti Gawain, who’s been out for a long time, and they’re all about visualization, and “think your way positive into things,” and you’re saying, “Hey, wait. That’s not the whole formula.”
What is the missing piece then? If positive thinking is only a piece of it, what’s missing?
To Have Success, Change The Way You Think
David Essel
Luis, Kamala, the reality of success, if it was simple that we could visualize the Mazzaroth if we could visualize the million dollar home, and put it in a box, and put it in storage, and five years later, somehow magically turned into that house. We would all be different right now. You guys wouldn’t have a podcast. I wouldn’t be a counselor and a coach.
Kamala Chambers
It’s true.
David Essel
There would be not one darn thing needed in this world if that stuff works.
I’m going to make a reference to Gandhi. I love his life story, and a lot of people don’t know his story. Just like a lot of people have never read enough about Nelson Mandela to know his background. He was a terrorist for God sake. He was a peace abiding attorney turned terrorist. He didn’t go to prison because he was a choir boy for 27 years, and Gandhi has a similar background.
Change The Way You Think About Some Beliefs
David Essel
I’m going to make an analogy to my beliefs system changing regarding positive thinking and being able to change the way you think with Gandhi.
When Gandhi came back to India to revolutionize the country hopefully, and to try to find a peaceful separation from British rule, there was a period where he was encouraging Indians to pick up rifles to stand next to their British counterparts as a team and union, and any dissenters to fire when needed. That’s a pretty radical different Gandhi that a lot of people think of Gandhi.
After Gandhi was on this mantra of “Take up your arms and be with our brother British citizens,” He found one day that he was wrong. Just like Nelson Mandela in prison realized he was wrong.
David Essel realized he was wrong after 16 years of preaching the insanity that’s out there still today, which whatever you believe you can achieve, and thoughts become things, and the universe is conspiring to meet your needs. And guys, it’s all a bunch of crap
You Are Welcome To Change The Way You Think
Luis Congdon
And David, I know you’re about to say something powerful, but Thriving Launchers, I just want to affirm something I’m already getting out of this, and I think is powerful. It is you’re welcome to change the way you think. You’re welcome to have breakthroughs.
You don’t have to stick with something and think it’s the Holy Grail and become brittle with that mindset. David has changed. Gandhi changed. Malcolm X is another great example of somebody that changed. Freud also had a huge revelation about being able to change the way you think.
Thriving Launchers, just let this be one of the first lessons that we take away from today’s show. It is that you can change an. You can change the way you think. You can have a transformation, and what was your bible can change and become something new.
Go ahead and continue there.
Entrepreneurs, You Should Change The Way You Think, Drop Your Old Beliefs And Pick New Ones
David Essel
If you’re an entrepreneur, you should regularly be changing. You should be dropping your old beliefs and picking up new ones.
There’s nothing in this world that isn’t ever changing, and if you’re not changing as an entrepreneur on a regular basis, you’re behind the eight-ball.
Change The Way You Think To Be A Leader
David Essel
You become a parrot. You become a follower. You might think that you’re a leader, but if you’re not changing your beliefs, and challenging yourself to do things bigger, better, stronger, faster, then you’re behind the eight ball, and I was behind the eight ball.
My early mentors who I love to death and still praise to this day, the late Wayne Dyer, who I dedicated our new book on The Myth Of Positive Thinking too, believe it or not.
Kamala Chambers
Oh, wow!
David Essel
Also, Ram Dass, one of my earliest teachers in the 80’s. These people, I was parroting them, guys. I was doing my very best, but I was parroting, and that’s what most of us do.
Change The Way You Think About Entrepreneurs Who Makes Radical Mistakes
David Essel
Richard Branson is not a parrot. We need to look at some of these persons who are real entrepreneurs and realized that they make radical mistakes.
If I go back to my story, Richard Branson, when they came out with Virgin Cola, Oh my God, did they get tanked. Pepsi and Coca-Cola, when they found out he was trying to do this, they came and shot him down.
What he did was he raised his hand and said, “Wow. I was wrong,” like “That’s not where we should have gone,” but he tried.
Change The Way You Think To Realize Your Mistakes
David Essel
They tried Virgin condoms. I don’t know guys if you ever heard about that but talk about an oxymoron. Then, he found out that was a mistake, and he said, “Oh my God. I’m sorry.”
David Essel on the show is saying “I was wrong,” From 1980 to 1996. I’d travel the world speaking in front of 5,000 people, saying “Whatever you believe you can achieve, and your thoughts become things,” and all this kind of stuff.
At 1996, I had this biggest smack in the bite. A guy who was one of the most brilliant guru teachers the ever walk the face of this earth, he’s no longer with us. He’s the founder of transcendental meditation, and his name is Maharishi Mahesh Yogi.
Maharishi chose a radio as the only United States out lid in 1996 to celebrate the 40th anniversary of TM or Transcendental Meditation. Through a story that we tell and detail in my book, I’ll just share the snippet of it right here, he woke me up and showed me.
Change The Way You Think And Believe In The Power Of The Mind
David Essel
Now, here is a guy that believes in the power of the mind, and believes apparently in the power of meditation, prayer, and everything else. He snapped me into the reality of how important it is to change the way you think.
This is how it happened.
For 25 years, I was using this affirmation every morning, and I said it with power and energy, I was trained by the guru of all gurus in meditation, and in affirmations. It went like this, “I am a child of God happy, healthy, and sober today.” And I would clap my hands, get out of bed, and go put in another 12 hours, and at eight o’clock every night for more than 25 years, I drank myself to sleep.
Look At What You Do And See If It Has Changed The Way You Think
David Essel
I was a motivational speaker, counselor, coach, and author back then in these days. I was doing everything I’m doing now, and Maharishi woke me up to this reality.
If an affirmation like that was going to work, I think 25 years was enough experience to see if it would work or not. It didn’t work. What worked was me looking in the mirror.
In 1996, Tuesday afternoon at 2:30, coming out of another bench, looking in the mirror and saying, “David Essel, you have no joy.” That was a major wake-up call. That was the first realization that the power of the mind and being able to change the way think is powerful.
The Power Of Visualization To Change The Way You Think
David Essel
Denis Waitley, I’ve been on stage with him. He taught me the power of visualization back in the 80’s. He’s the guy that taught the Olympic athletes, and the astronaut’s visualization.
But here’s the thing.
We take snippets of society as reality without the truth behind them.
Jim Carrey has come out recently and said, “Hold on guys. You’re taking my story about the 10 million dollar check that I put in my wallet when I was broke as if that’s what created the 10 million dollar check.” He said, “How ridiculous!” This was on social media the other day.
Change The Way You Think And Work Your Butt Off To Achieve What You Want
David Essel
Jim said, “How ridiculous is that for people to think that you can write a check for a significant amount of money, kick back, and have it come to you.” He said, “I worked my butt off to earn those 10 million dollars,” and he’s trying to set the record straight.
With our new book guys, what we’ve done is we’ve come full circle and said, “You know what? I was wrong. I am sorry. I was parroting. I was doing everything that I’m encouraging entrepreneurs not to do anymore.”
Change The Way You Think And Your Stands To Help Others
David Essel
But then, I didn’t just say I was wrong. I went out and got six New York Times best-selling authors that I’m friends with, and I’ve interviewed numerous times. I got another six people that have come from places like homelessness to become a multi trillionaire, and a woman whose six-year-old son was murdered and she forgave the killer.
I brought these people into the book, and I have them share their stories about how at one time, they also used to preach “You can believe and achieve what you think.” And now, they’ve changed their stands, and now we’re all speaking the same tune which is about to change the way you think constantly.
Create A Powerful Life When You Change The Way You Think
Kamala Chambers
What I appreciate is you shared that pivotal moment where you said to yourself you have no joy.
There’s something so powerful about being willing to embrace our darkness and shadow. Only if we can accept and embrace those parts of ourselves, then we stop maybe “spiritually bypassing.” It’s a word that some people use for that, and just “I’m just going to think myself into where I want.”
Positivity And Action To Change The Way You Think
Kamala Chambers
You’re talking about such important things. You’re talking about positivity but not only that, but also action, and emerging that together.
Just as a side note, I love that it was a transcendental meditator that led you there. That’s kind of how I got my name is. It’s because my parents are transcendental meditators. I love that part of your story. I’m a white girl, and I have a Sanskrit name.
David Essel
Kamala that is beautiful. I love it.
If in the years 27 years of being on the radio, when I look back at every person I’ve interviewed, the late Wayne Dyer, Deepak, Suze Orman, Marianne Williamson, Don Miguel Ruiz, the list goes on and on. Keith Mitchell, a former NFL all-pro linebacker who’s paralyzed, and now, is one of the leading Yoga gurus in the world today.
Change The Way You Think And Work Hard To Sell Books
David Essel
When I interviewed all these people, even though they may speak the words “instant manifestations” and all that nonsense, the reality is, not one of them guys, over the years ever said to me that they created their million selling books by visualizing them or affirming them. Or they saved their marriage after an affair through visualization or energy work.
I’m not saying that affirmations, energy work, visualization aren’t good. Of course, they’re all tools but every one of them if put on the stand today would say they worked their butts off.
The missing ingredient in the world of positive thinking is this very thing.
Change The Way You Think About The Law Of Attraction And The Secret
David Essel
In our book, we even explain psychologically why the secret, the law of attraction, infomercials, and lottery tickets are all the same gig?
Everything I just mentioned, the secret, lottery tickets, infomercials, and the law of attraction say you can achieve great things with minimal effort. That’s how The Secret sold, and I’m bringing The Secret up because it’s well known. 20% of it is excellent. That 20% that’s awesome is the stories that are fun.
Dr. Joe Vitale, who was one of the stars of The Secret, when I had him on my radio show, I said, “Joe, I want just to ask you this quick question. In the book, it tells me you went from homeless to a millionaire, imagining checks coming in the mail and some other propaganda visualization stuff. If that’s all you did, please, tell me that affirmation. Please tell me that visualization.” And he was laughing on the air.
Change The Way You Think About How People Go From Homeless To Millionaire
David Essel
He said, “David, they left out the meat of the work.” and for Joe to go from homeless to a millionaire, he shared with us on the show that he works seven days a week, 12 hour days for years to become a millionaire before The Secret mentioned him.
What they did in the book was they took the real fascinating. They took the Jim Carrey and Joe Vitale and made it into a soundbite, but they left out how hard he worked to make it happen.
In my book, we described this as something that weak, and I thank Maharishi for enlightening and awakening me at that moment because right after then in 1996, we created Life Coach Universe, which is our training organization to train people who want to become life coaches.
Change The Way You Think About How You Can Get The Most Out Of Life
David Essel
One of the things we teach them is something called “human nature.” The definition we created of human nature back in 1996 is this, “It is our desire to get the most out of life with minimal effort.” That is running the show.
Most of us, if we’re given an option of buying a pill for 19.95/month, that we could have anybody we want, we’d probably buy the pill. If we were given an opportunity purchase a pill to become millionaires, we probably would all pay for the pill.
The desire to get the most out of life with minimal effort is what creates huge success for infomercials.
They give the Suzanne Somers, ThighMaster. They showed Susan’s and the models’ incredible body and they go, “God! Just watch TV. Put this thing between your legs.” 19.95 for a month or a year of whatever it is. That’s not real, but it sells.
That’s that happen with the secret and law of attraction. They proposed to us this is how you get the most out of life with minimal effort. Who doesn’t want that?
Change The Way You Think And Go Back To Reality
David Essel
Our book came out and said 20% of what those guys say is 100% accurate. 80% is not so let’s come back to reality.
Kamala Chambers
Let’s talk about that reality a little bit because there are a lot of pieces I’ve found success with. It’s embracing the darkness as we talked about. It’s taking action and also knowing what you want.
Change The Way You Think About Passion
Kamala Chambers
For me, a big part of it is having the passion behind it because if I don’t have the passion, then I don’t have the motivation to make it happen.
We’ve had guests on, and they say “It’s not about passion. It’s a big motivator for me.” But I would love to hear what your success principles that you’re bringing forward that are radically different are.
David Essel
Luis and Kamala, number one is if you haven’t achieved what you want with your body, your money, your love life, your career, your business, your spiritual path, by now on your own, you never will.
Change The Way You Think And Have An Accountability Partner
David Essel
We believe that we just need the next great course or the next great book. What we need is the next great accountability partner that’s going to kick our butt, Kamala. That’s what we need.
We need someone that’s going to hold our feet to the fire that’s going to set us up for success and isn’t going to let us get away with justification, rationalization and denial of why this program won’t work for me because I’m a Virgo, I’m a millennial, or whatever.
We need to someone who’s going to be serious with us. That’s number one.
David Essel
I’ve got a great story. I’m going to tell you about Harv Eker in a second.
That’s number one. You have to invest time, money, and effort into you.
Yes, you may have to scrounge if you don’t have a lot of money. Yes, you may have to do 15-minute coaching sessions or 30-minute counseling sessions or 30-minute business consultations, whatever you can afford. But if it is a big goal, don’t rely on you. If you could have done it, you would have done it already.
Change The Way You Think And Set Up An Action Plan On A Daily Basis
David Essel
Number two is you’ve got to set up an action plan on a regular basis, a minimum of five days a week to accomplish a big goal. You have to prioritize your tasks by doing those things first thing in the morning that you would rather not do.
When I look at the secret sauce of success, it’s an accountability coach, counselor, personal trainer, whatever the gig is, you need to someone beside you. That’s number one.
Change The Way You Think And Do Things You Can’t Stand First
David Essel
Number two is you’ve got to get into the habit of delaying instant gratification and doing the stuff you can’t stand first.
In 1996, my mentor, Joe Cirulli, who went from homeless to a multi trillionaire, we met at a conference, and we became friends, and I asked him to be my mentor. He said yes, and I showed him my action plan, and he goes, “You’ve got it all wrong, David.”
It’s because I had 25 things on my action list, 20 of them exed-out and the five carryovers. I had postponed for a couple of weeks. He’s looking at this going “These same things are being carried over. Why?” I said, “Honestly, I hate that kind of work.”
Whether it’s social media or networking you don’t want to do, or you’re not good at asking for the sale, or you’re not good at promotions, you got to do that first thing in the morning.
Whatever you’re not good at, you got to do that first thing in the morning.
Be A Different Person When You Change The Way You Think
David Essel
If I just stop right here and we just ended with those tips and this audience, if they follow this advice, will rock their world and be a different person 365 days from now.
Luis Congdon
I think that’s amazing and I’m looking forward to hearing the story about T Harv Eker who was also a guest on our show.
David Essel
Oh god! I love it when I get humbled on these shows with you guys.
Change The Way You Think With The Secrets Of The Millionaire Mind
David Essel
I’m trying to think when the Secrets of the Millionaire Mind came out. It was probably seven or eight years ago. At that time and it still could be, it was the fastest personal growth book ever to hit New York Times best-seller, and I think it did it in 24 hours or 36 hours. Harv had it set up. He knew what he was doing marketing wise.
The minute the book came out, we had them on the show. During the show, I kept saying to him “Harv, I love the book. I want to hire you as my business coach.” He was laughing and just said “David, we’ll talk about it later.” So I’d ask him another question. I go “Hey, Harv. How about you become my coach?”
After I asked him about four times, finally on the air, he goes “Oh my god, do I have to say Yes?” I go “Yup!” He goes, “Okay. I’ll be your coach. We’ll talk about it afterward.”
The Wake Up Call To Change The Way You Think
David Essel
We get off the air, and I said, “Hey, I’m serious.” We set up a time. I gave him a call, and he said: “What’s your goal?” I said, “To double my income in 12 months.” He asked me what my income was and he goes “In 12 months, you want to double that?” I go “Yeah.” He goes “That’s a huge goal.” I said “Yeah. That’s what I’m all about.” He goes, “When did you set that purpose originally?” I said, “Two years ago.” He said, “Have you done everything possible in the last two years to make that happen?” I said “Absolutely.”
He goes, “Okay. Here’s my first tip to you. You’re in denial.” I said, “What are you talking about?” He said, “David, if you have that goal for two years, and you haven’t achieved it, you haven’t done everything possible. Yes, it’s a big goal, but you should have reached it by now.”
That was the first wake up call. He said I was in denial.
Change The Way You Think To Interrupt The Pattern
David Essel
Do you guys see a pattern here?
Kamala Chambers
Oh, yeah.
David Essel
I love it.
Kamala Chambers
It’s kind of what we end up going through as people. You repeat these patterns over and over again if you don’t change the way you think.
David Essel
Absolutely.
The first thing is, he’s blowing my mind that I have to admit I’m in denial. He made me accept it. I said, “All right. I’m in denial.”
Change The Way You Think About Having A Coach
David Essel
Then, the second thing he said was, “Since that’s a financial goal, who’s your business coach?” I said “You.” He said, “No, no, no. Before me, who’s your business coach?” and I said, “Well, I haven’t had one in three years.” “Why did you stop having a business coach?” “Because we were shattering goals, and I didn’t think I needed one anymore.”
“Mistake number two David. If you haven’t been able to do it on your own, you’re never going to do it on your own. You need a coach.”
I said, “How about you?” He goes, “No. I told you I would do this one. I don’t have time for this.” But he goes, “Let me refer you to people. You can talk to them. Either of them will be great.” The coach I chose of the two he gave me, I still work with today. How many years we’ve been together, right?
Change The Way You Think And Surround Yourself With People Who Are Better Than You
David Essel
I’ve got a lot of major wake up calls in my life. One of the blessings of surrounding yourself with individuals who are better than you, smarter than you, more successful than you, wiser than you, is that you get a chance to cut short on your mistake-laden life, and jump ahead of the teams by following people who already know what to do.
But, here’s something you have to understand, and this is what I tell all my counseling and coaching clients.
Change The Way You Think And Fully Surrender
David Essel
If you’re not willing to fully surrender to someone else’s program, you are delaying your opportunity for growth. – David Essel
We see a lot of people say, “Oh, okay. I’d like to work with you,” and then when you give them assignments, they go, “Oh, no, no, no. That’s not for me.” And that’s not surrendering.
To Change The Way You Think Is Uncomfortable
David Essel
You need to work with someone and when they ask you to do things that aren’t comfortable, just do it.
Kamala Chambers
I want to back up what you’re saying here because it is the most important thing I’ve ever done for my business. It is getting mentoring, getting support, and taking accountability. That is the biggest thing in podcasting.
But having the accountability is everything, right?
David Essel
Yeah.
Kamala Chambers
It makes it, so we have someone guiding us towards the goal.
I just want to share something that’s important to me that maybe some of you listeners can resonate with.
Change The Way You Think And Be Careful When Choosing A Mentor
Kamala Chambers
I have chosen wrong. I have picked the wrong guidance and the wrong mentoring. The things I found is look out for people who have huge promises or overly hyped things, and they’re not realistic with you up front. I think that’s a huge thing to look for in a mentor.
Also, I don’t mean to get on this level but trust your intuition. Luis and I hired people, and we’re like “Well, I don’t know about this about this person. I’m not sure. It doesn’t feel right.” We’ve lost a lot of time, money, and energy choosing wrong.
But I want to back up what you’re saying about choosing someone.
David Essel
Yeah.
Kamala, I want to throw something else out there. It maybe a little confusing for our audience but it’s something worthwhile to hold onto.
Change the Way You Think About Things That Don’t Feel Good To You
David Essel
Many teachers in the law of attraction say that if something doesn’t feel good, that means you’re off base. If something doesn’t feel right, it means you’re off base. Many times, that’s wrong. Many times, things that don’t feel good or don’t feel comfortable are good for us and our growth.
When I have people come to me, and I work with them on sobriety, well, there are a lot of things you do on sobriety that isn’t comfortable.
If I have people to take our financial freedom course, one of the things we do is we do a comprehensive documentation for 30 days of every penny spent, what it was spent on, and then we break it down into these other categories.
The hundreds of people that have taken the course, I haven’t had anyone say, “Oh my God! I’ve been waiting for this. I’ve been waiting for someone to make me write down every penny and what it’s for.” But, something’s feel uncomfortable, and they don’t feel right, and they could be the best thing for us.
Now, backing up what you said about intuition.
If you’re working with someone who is condescending, who is holier than thou, who is righteous in their approach, and that doesn’t feel good, then I’ll say, follow your intuition because that isn’t a good match for you.
Change The Way You Think And Be Careful About Shying Away
David Essel
But be careful about shying away, and saying, “Well, I’m not a morning person and this person’s asking me to do something at this time.”
Be careful about what doesn’t feel right that might be perfect for you but crappy to do.
Kamala Chambers
I know that this conversation about the importance of being able to change the way you think could keep going for hours. You have so much to share with the Thriving Launchers, and we’re coming to a close here.
Before we go, I want to ask you. Is there any last gem, take away, or action step you want to leave the Thriving Launchers with that they can apply today about the importance of being able to change the way you think?
Change The Way You Think And Take Action Now
David Essel
I posted something on Facebook today, and it said this, “If I waited to get educated and to get a degree in broadcast journalism to write books, the nine books we have out right now would still be in my head.”
Luis Congdon
I love that.
That’s one of the things here Thriving Launchers is I want to back up today’s conversation with one of my favorite passages from a great book. Religion aside, the Bible is a fantastic book. It has a lot of great quotes in it, and one of the verses I love says, “Show me a man of action, and I will show you a man of faith.”
Change The Way You Think And Take Action To Declare You Have The Faith
Luis Congdon
The lesson from today parallels that because your faith, all your meditations, affirmations, and visualizations will only fully be backed up by your ability to then trust that the universe is supporting you, and go out there, and take the massive action to declare that you have the faith.
If you just have the faith, and you’re waiting and hoping, it’s probably not going to happen.
Another great story straight out of the Bible is the parting of the red sea. Now, you got to trust that you can walk through that sea and that sea is going to stay up for you to walk through.
Change The Way You Think And Trust That The Universe Is Supporting You
Luis Congdon
I encourage you guys to go out there. Thriving Launchers, go out there, believe that the universe is supporting you. Just like you trust when you’re driving your car that you’re not going to hit somebody, that the car isn’t going to swerve out, or you’re walking down the sidewalk, and you’re trusting that a car isn’t going to hit you. I encourage you to take actions the same way.
If you’ve wanted to write a book or whatever it is, go out and take the steps necessary, and trust that your mentor’s coming to you, the right actions are coming to you.
But, you must first take that first step to say that I trust that my affirmations and my meditation, which is 20%, I am confident that the other 80% will be met through my action.
I leave you guys with that today. Thriving Launchers, go out there and stay thriving.
